So on February 25th 2019, I had one and a half days of hoping all of my problems stemmed from some lifelong C. Diff problem I didn’t have symptoms for, and then I got the results back from my Lyme test.
Positive. Is my life a giant black comedy?
Chronic illnesses are very difficult to fix. You’re going to be wrong about things, you’re going to have your views completely changed multiple times. Keep going. I’m in remission, and that’s what’s important. It’s unbelievable really. I’m thrilled with my life.
But the underlying causes still haunt me.
Are they fixable?
Are humans just supposed to eat mainly meat?
Am I ever going to be less sensitive?
Does my Dad, Jordan, have the same thing wrong as I do?
Why do I get arthritis when I eat plants?
Why do I also get what happens to Jordan (mainly cognitive symptoms) if he doesn’t have lyme disease?
Why aren’t our symptoms exactly the same but very overlapping?
Why could I tolerate plants before the pregnancy but not after?
ETC. You get it. There are a lot of unanswered questions here.
I’m not going to stop searching. Every new piece of information is a step closer. So that’s where I am now, a step closer. This new diagnosis of Lyme Disease doesn’t explain why my Dad has such severe cognitive symptoms to plants (and has seemingly had them since he was a child), but it does explain my arthritis as a kid.
There are obviously multiple problems going on, which isn’t what I was hoping for. One step at a time though. Candida is gone, C. Diff is probably gone, that’s two down. One more to go? Two more? Three more?
It definitely surprised me. I was driving back from my last FMT treatment in the Bahamas last week when I received the results. My best friend came with me to help take care of Scarlett while I was there and I asked her to look at the results. When she said, “It says you’re positive for something called B. burgdorferi.” I had a bit of a double take. Well, more like a wave of horror washed over me. “Not Lyme. That’s so difficult to get rid of. Please, not Lyme.”
I stopped by the grocery store to grab ribs and we didn’t really talk about it. I just kept looking at the results. On the way out I drove over a curb. I got back to the AirBnB and called my parents to tell them. They were pretty silent about it too.
Then I went on a research spree. That lasted until the following morning. I woke up super early and went down a rabbit hole of, “it’s very difficult to test for, here are a bunch of fringe treatments that seem to randomly work, diet works sometimes, heating up your body works, going to see some dude in Germany works, antibiotics work (except for the 20 percent of people that then test negative for the bacteria and still have symptoms!!!). AWESOME. It’s basically the fringe-freak disease (no hate to fellow Lyme sufferers). GREAT. Plus I’ve probably had it since I was 2 and started showing symptoms of arthritis. That’s 25 years. And the longer you have it the more difficult it is to get rid of. Or is it good news? Does this mean I could fix it? AHHHHH. So then I had a meltdown. Luckily my friend was there. It was a short meltdown. Maybe 20 seconds.
Then I was over it.
So it was about 15 hours of, “Oh nooooo, now I have to spend the next forever researching a new problem!!! I don’t want to learn about Lyme, I don’t care about Lyme Disease. Why me!? This explains everything, especially the arthritis and chronic fatigue but then why did dad have symptoms since he was a kid too? Why do all of my issues have to be so complicated and fringe-sciencey!!!”
Then I cried for 20 seconds and then decided I was over it.
The Dad emailed me about how these tests aren’t reliable according to the Canadian medical system. Which is why I didn’t test positive as a child. Which is ridiculous. How else do you end up with bacterial plasmid DNA in your blood if you’re not positive?! Medical systems man. They anger me.
Game plan: Do exactly what I’ve already been doing and follow the old plan before I found out about these results. One thing at a time here.
I did the FMT treatment in the Bahamas, and I’ll let everyone know on the next post what my game plan is. It’s not to freak out and research these stupid little spiral bacteria obsessively for the next God knows how long though and try 18 different treatments at once. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Especially considering this all beef diet obviously works for Lyme, (and basically, everything else it seems). I can only follow one lead at a time and I’m going to give this FMT thing a real shot before I try the next crazy thing. I think.
I guess I’m not THAT surprised. I knew there was something going on that was “something like Lyme”.
Keep at it boys and girls, it’s a wild ride out there. Update on FMT coming soon.