Soooooo I didn’t really want to write this because, well, duh. But I’m going to anyway.

Hemorrhoids are basically swollen veins that can protrude outside of your anus. They are not sexy. They are not comfortable. They suck.

They’re also extremely common during pregnancy. I believe this is because people seem to get more sensitive to what they’re eating during pregnancy. (Not surprising considering your body is going through so many changes and you’re protecting the little one inside you. If you look at my post on morning nausea, I write that I could control it by eating very low carb and not cheating ever.) So pregnancy makes you more sensitive. Anyway, as people know, during the pregnancy I stopped being able to tolerate the carbs I had been eating (I had been eating apples, sweet potatoes, cauliflower, broccoli, greens, etc.). I’m currently on an all-meat diet because I lost that carb tolerance during the pregnancy.

So I believe hemorrhoids are common during pregnancy for two reasons:

  1. Foods start to irritate you more and cause intestinal inflammation – this is what I’m leaning towards because it’s hard to believe that we’ve evolved to just get hemorrhoids when you’re pregnant. AND not everyone gets them.
  2. Your circulation gets weird, there’s a whole bunch of baby weight inside you pushing on things, random things swell, etc.

We’ll find out when I have the next baby (whenever that will be) if this happens again on an all-meat diet. (Please God no). Because I am prone to them. So I ended up with two hemorrhoids that wouldn’t go away after the pregnancy. They got better on an all-meat diet but I wanted them goneeee. So about a month ago I got them lasered away. Not pleasant.

I can’t take any painkillers. I will end up beyond miserable and with an autoimmune disorder for a month. So I couldn’t take any painkillers after the surgery. That SUCKED. I will let you know how I dealt with that. It turns out though that I can tolerate preservative-free lidocaine injections without having a flare-up. So for anyone out there who’s super sensitive, it looks like I can tolerate injected preservative-free things! More evidence this is a gut issue. I will write another post on what things I mean. But in this case, it was lidocaine. So that’s good!

So I got home and for some reason, I thought this would be a no biggy two-day downtime thing. It was not. At all. Especially without painkillers. I was literally in bed for two weeks. I couldn’t sit down. UGH. I was horizontal for almost 11 days. And that was with using my mom’s laser which helped a lot with pain and swelling and healing. I am fairly pain tolerant but oooouch. I got home that day and the pain was bad enough I was nauseous. But I wasn’t depressed so it was still better than that. I was laying in bed, nauseous and in pain with ice on my ass thinking “how did people do this before painkillers!?” And I realized that some used alcohol. So I had three glorious drinks of bourbon and it reduced the pain dramatically. So yep. I’m basically back in the 1400s. Getting drunk isn’t an ideal solution to pain though, especially if it’s post-surgical pain sooooo I’m going to have to figure that one out. I’m concerned too because I need to fix my ankle and that is actually going to require pain medication. So… Intramuscular morphine maybe? Will they even give that to me? -_-

ANYWAY – if you have hemorrhoids, especially if it’s not related to pregnancy, you’re irritating your gut somehow. Your gut is irritated. Obviously. It’s visibly swollen… Other animals don’t get them, it’s not normal, so check what you’re eating, fool around with diet and see what helps. For me, it was an all-beef diet. Plus salt. And sparkling water. And occasional bourbon 🙂


  1. Yassine Motaouakkil on July 29, 2018 at 8:39 am

    Three glorious drinks of bourbon and civilization will be right around the corner!

  2. Shawn Gibson on July 29, 2018 at 9:08 am

    Fascinating, thanks Mikhaila. I’ve been following your diet thoughts for a bit now because my mental and physical health are calling for a change in diet. I’ve been loading the freezer up with beef and veggies.

    I was off work for a month because of a massive hemorrhoid I had surgically removed. My doctor said the cause was “Philosophy Student”.

    I spent so much time on the toilet that apparently I caused it to become massively inflamed. Go figure.

    Shawn Gibson

  3. Mom on July 29, 2018 at 9:53 am

    I got a tiny hemorrhoid when I was expecting 32 years ago, but a month into all beef and I am absolutely miserable. I now have two huge extremely inflamed hemorrhoids from the chronic constipation. I am floating in water keeping hydrated, exercising, taking magnesium and that doesn’t help. I am experiencing extreme fatigue now. I didn’t experience this on Paleo, Keto, Atkins, Pescatarian, Vegan. I think all meat may not work for everyone.

  4. RNRN on July 29, 2018 at 10:03 am

    Strange but I love beets and if I eat them, I get hems! Brutal…They came back as one of my food sensitivities years ago and it is amazing how different foods affect ones well being/health! Also, thanks for mentioning soap and the correlation with heal cuts. Mine have been brutal for years – deep fissures start up so quickly. With switching soap (olive oil soap), they are much better now! I had no idea there could be a connection! keep up the great work!

  5. Wendy on July 29, 2018 at 10:05 am

    Could you use CBD with some THC for pain? Have you had your stool culture taken you must be missing some much need gut bacteria?

  6. B on July 29, 2018 at 10:25 am

    Yes girl, yes. Took 6 Kids before I got them and I’m desperate to have them removed but I can’t be flattened for 2 weeks. I do remember getting a toothache during one pregnancy and my dentist told me to swish whiskey in my mouth before bed and it worked! Good luck on finding a solution to the ankle problem.

  7. Beverlie C Gensler on July 29, 2018 at 11:21 am

    Hi Mikhaila, I was vegetarian for 31 years and had hemorrhoids for all that time…no kids until after I quit being vegetarian (had my kids and 38 and 40). My food sensitivity issues centred around having severe eczema from birth. The hemorrhoids were just a secondary pain in the ass compared to the eczema. Weirdly enough, my flareups happened from the same foods you write about…and soy sauce was the absolute WORST!–especially if it touched my skin. However, after the birth of my second daughter, my sister, who is a librarian and read everything that came into the library for cataloguing, told me to try MSM (methysulfonylmethane). I read the reports written by the doctors who were promoting it for treating autoimmune disorders, and sure enough, after about a month of taking 1000mg daily…POOF! My eczema started to fade into the horizon and so did my hemorrhoids. Forty years for pure hell… gone, done, over. It was a fricken’ miracle as far as I was concerned. If I missed a day of MSM, I’d get a little flareup, so I took it daily for about eight years and stopped once I noticed no flareups from cessation. Now I’m pushing 60 and have resumed taking MSM as I miss the boost to my energy level that it gave me. (Also aids in the production of collagen.) MSM allowed me to eat just about anything with no flareups. I really encourage you to give it a try. There are no side effects. (Sorry to hear about your ankle.)

  8. scottie35 on July 29, 2018 at 11:25 am

    OUUUUUCH! I’m pretty sure this doesn’t help, but I have sympathetic PITA now… Just, ouch.

    • Celine Pistelli on July 29, 2018 at 12:37 pm

      How many minutes per day of UBV phototherapy did you do and for how long? Celine P.

  9. Trent Charles on July 29, 2018 at 11:41 am

    Hey Mikhaila,

    I saw Jordan in Edmonton last night. He told me to reach out to you. We had a short talk during the VIP Photo/Meet session, and I told him how I had healed my autoimmune condition. First by using the carnivore diet for 5 months. But then healing my digestive tract with UVB Phototherapy, and being able to eat anything I want(I mentioned having some amazing apple fritters that afternoon).

    I’ve completely healed not only my autoimmune disease(chronic fatigue, digestive issues, & guttate psoriasis), but I’ve completely reset my immune system and no longer need/use the carnivore diet.

    I’ve been doing UVB PhotoTherapy for the last 2.5 months. This healed my guttate psoriasis, which was something that 3-4 months of the carnivore diet was unable to do. But to my surprise, when I would do my monthly cheat meal, nothing happened. Usually I’d have some sugar and feel terrible. But this time, nothing happened. So I moved up to corn pops. Nothing happened. I moved up to Fruit Loops. Nothing happened. So for the last 3 weeks, I’ve been able to eat anything I want, and I still feel as great as I did on the carnivore diet! 🙂 It is so incredible to eat normal people food again, and still feel and look great!

    I think autoimmune disease is actually a vitamin D deficiency. My understanding, is that Vitamin D’s primary purpose is to attach to malignant cells and push them into apoptosis. But if you don’t have enough vitamin D(common in Canada), these malignant immune cells begin to build up and create serious issues.

    And by taking 2 months of doing high dose UVB Phototherapy, I think I gave my body a massive dose of Vitamin D, and reset all the malignant cells.

    I also think that UVB Phototherapy works far better than oral supplements or sun exposure. Especially if you have an impaired digestive tract, I think it is extremely hard to absorb the vitamin D. Vitamin D is also fat soluble, so it needs fat for absorption and storage. This means making it on your skin is the perfect place, because we have a layer of fat all over our skin that can be used for the production and storage of vitamin D. And for the Sun, the main problem is you can’t get a therapeutic dose. I find that 8 hours of sun exposure is about the equivalent of 2-4 minutes of UVB phototherapy.

    And at my peak treatments, I was doing 40 minutes in a day of UVB phototherapy. So there’s just no way to get a medically relevant dose from the sun. I wanted to share what has worked for me, so you and Jordan could experience the same benefits. I’m happy to talk more in detail about my experience with UVB, so please don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions.


    • Becki Ewy on July 29, 2018 at 11:54 am

      I’m a nurse. I’ve given IM Demerol before. Never morphine. They would never allow you to do it yourself, though. Not in US at least.

      • Mikhaila on July 29, 2018 at 1:13 pm

        Damn!! What am I going to do! I’ll update the blog when I talk to a doctor but I’m really concerned about this. Maybe a nerve block or something? Ugh.

        • Anna-Marie Kunneke Carstens on July 30, 2018 at 12:39 am

          Mikhaila, my husband does nerve blocks for patients after operations. I know he does femoral nerve blocks quite often, but I suppose for an ankle they could do it lower down. (Popliteal sciatic nerve block) As far as I know, the block can stay in and be topped up in for 3 days, which would help a lot. You would have to stay in the hospital for that, though. I am not in the medical field, so I don’t know whether the agents they use are preservative free.

          • Mikhaila on July 31, 2018 at 9:24 pm

            Hmmm okay. That might be an option for a while. Thanks! It’s probably preservative free already.

    • Celine Pistelli on July 29, 2018 at 12:36 pm

      How many minutes per day of UBV phototherapy did you do and for how long? Celine P.

    • thp9 on July 29, 2018 at 3:42 pm

      Very interesting testimonial. I also have chronic fatigue and low vitamin D levels, I am very interested in this but I don’t think doctor’s would prescribe me that therapy because I don’t have any skin issues. I’ve just found that UVB lamps are sold on internet but they are quiet tiny relative to a cabin sized uvb therapy that covers the whole body. Have you done these UVB treatments inside a cabin ? or you used a small lamp and move around the body ? Do you think I can achieve what you have achieved with these lamps ?

  10. Herb Cochley on July 29, 2018 at 12:49 pm

    I have found that whole psyllium husks are essential for me. Two handfuls in a half liter of water, chake, and follow with another half liter in an hour or so. It cures diarrhea and constipation both.

  11. Anna on July 29, 2018 at 1:52 pm

    I had a prenatal yoga instructor tell me that pregnancy will cause anything your body has a predisposition for to show up or become worse. I think this is not discussed much and is an important bit of knowledge for women to be aware of. My issues during pregnancy were sciatica pain and hemorrhoids. I do get flare ups (seemingly) randomly during the course of time, and thanks to this post I will have to pay more attention to any diet changes next time I have a flare up.

    • Mikhaila on July 29, 2018 at 3:10 pm

      I got so much worse too. Sciatica, hemorrhoids, bleeding gums, arthritis, itching, acne… It’ll be interesting to see what happens next time

      • Geofd on July 30, 2018 at 11:20 pm

        Bleeding gums? Sounds like incipient scurvy which might account for body pains also. In this day we North Americans eat foods that are depleted in natural occurring vitamins of which C is only one but one of the most critical. Read up on Linus Pauling.

        • Mikhaila on July 31, 2018 at 8:04 am

          If I had scurvy during the pregnancy why would I still be alive now with no bleeding gums only eating meat? I had bleeding gums for my entire life until I changed my diet.

          • JimK on August 1, 2018 at 10:50 am

            Also scurvy takes a long time to develop. You have to be without vitamin C for months. There is sufficient Vitamin C in vegetables, fruits and meat.

          • Mikhaila on August 1, 2018 at 11:12 pm

            “The human body is unable to make vitamin C. For example, if the diet includes no vitamin C at all, the average onset of symptoms is about four weeks.” –

          • Ania on August 2, 2018 at 4:46 pm

            It seems like you understand scurvy incorrectly. You can be slightly deficient for months and years, you can be ill but not die for a loooong time 🙂
            You can also become deficient more suddenly due to an injury, surgery or other type of strong oxidative stress.
            There is a store of vitamin C in the tissues, but it only lasts for a few months. When you use it all up, the level in the blood fluctuates with what you eat and you begin to see symptoms you might not connect with scurvy.
            Weak blood vessels, bleeding gums, poor wound healing, etc. are classic examples.
            Have you read Klenner’s Report? I highly recommend it. Changed my whole family’s life.

          • Mikhaila on August 2, 2018 at 6:08 pm

            This might be true. Regardless, I don’t have scurvy. Or any symptoms of it.

  12. Lois MacKenzie on July 29, 2018 at 7:02 pm

    Can you tolerate oral CBD oil? It works amazingly well on my SI/L5 joint pain…..that, and an ice pack down the back of my pants! If you don’t want to ingest it (probably has carbs), then you can make your own CBD ointment for your hemorrhoids using the oil that way. Let us know if you have considered using cannabis in any form for pain?

    • JimK on August 1, 2018 at 10:53 am

      I have many friends who use CDB oil for inflammation. (runners) None of them mentioned hemorrhoids (I didn’t think to ask) but they have mentioned arthritis etc. One runner uses a salve after running. She also gives it to her dog and has had great results. (pill form). It is legal where I live.

  13. Karen Williams on July 30, 2018 at 3:54 am

    Hi Mikhaila
    Just wanted to ask how your Mum is doing…is she menopausal? If so, has she found any benefits of going low/no carb?
    I’m suffering and so is my other half!!
    Or if there is another female out there who has had the hot flushes and found the change in diet helpful.
    Also, what about risks of osteoporosis? I’ve always been told to drink milk to avoid osteoporosis.
    Thank you

  14. Tommy Tenney on July 30, 2018 at 7:22 am

    When I got hemorrhoids in my early 20s I read a book by Adale Davis that said a lack of Vit B-6 was cause. So now at nearly 72 yrs I still take Vit B-6 and keep that pain in my ass away. I started with 25mg several times a week. Now at 50- 100mg.

  15. Orsolya Szathmari on July 30, 2018 at 10:19 am

    The Tennant Biomodulator works extremely well for pain management, including post-surgical pain.

  16. Ania on July 30, 2018 at 2:24 pm

    It looks like vitamin C and copper deficiency. Bleeding gums would confirm my theory.

  17. Daniel on July 31, 2018 at 7:53 am

    I am a 39 year old male from Oz. I cut out gluten and reduced dairy, sugar and probably as a direct result, cut out some carbs which I would have consumed everyday of my life from about February this year and have noticed that my painful hemorrhoid ( been there for about 2 years) disappeared. It seems to come back a little when I eat bread and other carbs. My skin has cleared up and also noticed less joint pain. Also sinus and allergy problems seen to be disappearing. Amazing to read these stories and Carnivore diet.

  18. fabian on July 31, 2018 at 6:54 pm

    strange that the hemorrhoids didn’t heal on all meat :/

    • Mom on July 31, 2018 at 7:01 pm

      All meat inflamed mine and made the tiny one I had so much worse. I am sticking out the 90 days but it is getting more uncomfortable.

      • Mikhaila on July 31, 2018 at 7:10 pm

        All meat initially irritated mine more. Then they shrunk but the extra skin never left.

  19. Jakub on August 1, 2018 at 3:50 am

    I am sure that diet plays a huge part here, but you should also be mindful of your position on the toilet. Bowel movements are far easier in the squatting position, whilst sitting position requires much more pressure, which causes hemorrhoids. Try to elevate your feet and see if this helps (they’ve made these dedicated stools, look up squatty potty).

    • fabian on August 1, 2018 at 6:45 am

      been squatting on the toilet for 2 years, never going back!!

  20. Nancy on August 2, 2018 at 3:28 pm

    I’m a RN for last 40 years and I’ve given gallons of morphine IM. Ketorolac IM or IV is good for post op orthopedic surgery if you can take it. Hemorrhoids are related to increased abdominal pressure I never thought of food exacerbating them.
    Very low carb has been very very good for me. You have to eat what makes you comfortable.

    • Mikhaila on August 2, 2018 at 3:35 pm

      Thank you! I’ll update the blog and see what they can do.

  21. Lois MacKenzie on August 3, 2018 at 6:42 am

    I agree with you Frank, I couldn’t make the connection either.

    • frank on August 3, 2018 at 9:00 am

      yea… i guess someone deleted my comment. dunnow why.

      • Mikhaila on August 3, 2018 at 10:03 am

        What was the original comment?

  22. Michael on August 4, 2018 at 12:25 am

    Hi Mikhaila,
    Several years ago when doing daily water and coffee enemas I ended up blowing out a good sized haemorrhoid. After a month or so with no improvement I began looking on-line for non-surgical options. I came across the device Peristal and ordered it. Within one week of use my haemorrhoid completely resolved. You can buy one (the biggest diameter one) or a set of four (the next three getting smaller and smaller). If you go for the set of four, even after healing the immediate problem, you keep progressing through the other three. This will really strengthen up the whole anatomical and functional zone thereby minimizing the likelihood of a recurrence.

    The following link is the one I came across first.

  23. HC on August 4, 2018 at 5:07 pm
  24. Isabelle Andersson on August 5, 2018 at 6:10 pm

    Can I ask what kind of autoimmune reaction you get from painkillers? I was put on acid suppressants for reflux that gave me awful dry mouth and eyes (Sjogren’s symptoms) for literally half a year. It’s still not completely gone. Doctors think I’m nuts for insisting it was the meds. Curious to hear about others’ autoimmune reactions to meds.

  25. Daniel Yarhi on August 9, 2018 at 2:14 pm


    ImIa big fan of your dad, and now am following you too. Great blog, btw.

    But I wanted to leave you with some thought material. The body does take a while to heal sometimes; like my knee tendon, I pulled it a four or so years back. Though I am much better, it is still tender.
    Give your body ample chance to heal…

    Be well.


  26. OM on August 9, 2018 at 7:31 pm

    Happens when are constipated b/c of lack of fiber too.

  27. Herb Cochley on August 11, 2018 at 12:38 pm

    I take psyllium every day for that reason.

  28. Tzivi G on September 12, 2018 at 11:38 am

    I learned an American Indian remedy for hemorrhoids from my midwife: Carve a chunk of potato into the shape of a suppository and insert that overnight. After a night or two it should be gone!

  29. Ingrid Khadijah on September 19, 2018 at 1:20 am

    I think you’d like this type of healing technology as well

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